![]() ![]() My cousin once said Jackie was possessed by cars when I was 12 and I suppose he nailed it to this day. At least I won’t have to be two person and hold together emotions that doesn’t make sense. Obviously I can’t do racing 24/7 but I can imagine how mentally stabilizing that might be. School feels like grind, while race cars feel like a relief, but I just don’t know which part of me is sane and which part isn’t. I literally don’t know anything else, and yea that’s pretty sad. ![]() I don’t know if how I live my life is right or if it’s gonna drive me crazy, but how else am I supposed to live? Stop doing car stuff? This is the only way I know since I was 8. The contrast between the two modes is so big that I sometimes don’t know how I should even feel. I can remember what happened at almost every single Time Attack event I’ve been to but not what was taught in the yesterday’s thermo class. ![]() Copy the materials, prepare for exams, another semester. Get your notes, turn in homework, go home. And it’s not like I put on a facade for the camera, when I’m at the race tracks I really feel like ME, alive, energetic, and ready to put it on the line and back to school. Outside of cars I’m boring, no hobby no sports no pop culture no topics to bond over, maybe just coz I dedicated every ounce of my spare time to trying to be race car driver dream and it didn’t work out the first time round. Maybe it’s a time thing, maybe it’s me, but in nearly 4 years of college I still don’t have more than 3 or 4 people I could talk to in school. The half that’s with the cars in front of cameras, and the other that’s in school, silent and almost antisocial. I don’t think I should share this, but nor do I wanna keep this inside so if you wanna listen to me rambling about life then here goes: I feel like I live my lives in two halves. ![]()
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